Week 40: Depression and Fishing

This Saturday Ginger and I went to the Peace of Mind Conference at GABC Crosswalk.  This year's focus was on depression and suicide prevention.  It was a fantastic conference, and we both got to meet up with Laura Dykes, who wrote a fantastic book on depression (Confessions of a Chronic Depressive).  Ginger knows Laura from her high school days.

Of course, it ended up being a God thing.  We almost sat at one table, then ended up at another, which was naturally in the front (I let Ginger pick where we sit, she's the extrovert).   So we ended up getting to sit next to one of the speakers family and then, this naturally introverted artist became an extrovert for a few hours.  The lady next to me had lost her son 3 years ago to suicide.  When she found out about my depression and suicide attempt, she wanted to know more.  I do not talk about my attempt except to a select few and only in safe environments.  I shared with her my story, through addiction and depression.  Interestingly enough this was the second time in a week (We had a sharing session in my group on Tuesday nights too) that I was able to tell my story.  

Though this conference was not Ginger's "cup of tea" so to speak, they did not talk much about bipolar and other mood disorders, it was in my "wheel house".  Ginger and I walked in the Out of the Darkness walk last year and will be doing so again this year.   I can help because I have been there and can relate.  It is much like an alcoholic who listens to another recovering alcoholic because they have been there.   I cannot heal the pain, I cannot "make everything better", but I know what it is like to give up hope.  I know what the death of a dream feels like.  I know what it is like to say everyone would be better off without me.  But there is always hope, there are new dreams to fulfill, and the world is a better place with you alive in it.   I was able to tell my story, because I was asked, and maybe I was able to help, in a small way.  I know this, Ginger and I made some new friends!

So this week's photo actually started on Monday, when I had no idea I would be writing about this.  I wanted to practice something called the Dispersion effect.  So with Ginger at Zumba, I was taking pictures of me with two flash guns (which was a first!).  Then, as the week unfolded, and I began working on the effect, I knew what it would represent.  Ginger asked if it was hard to do the photo.  It is not so much hard as it is time consuming.  Trying to get everything "right".  But I came up with a title for it, Depression.  Sometimes you just want relief (Ginger relates to that feeling!).  Sometimes you want to scream and just let everything out, this represents that.

 So let's not end on the heavy stuff!  Friday our boss paid us for half a day of fishing and paid for the fishing trip!  We went to lake Tawakoni and caught striper bass and catfish.  In fact I caught 3 striper, one almost 10 lbs!

Yep, I was pretty stoked.  Had to reel them in right handed (which is challenging for a left hander!), but I handled my own!  Now I have a freezer full of filet's!  Hope everyone has a wonderful week!


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