A Saturday with nothing to do....what is up with that? I don't have to work, I can lounge around till 5 when we have dinner with a good friend of mine. This is crazy....

So Ginger has gone off to work out and do her errands. Her resourceful husband decided to clean the house which she was going to do when she got home, and finish up my laundry, again, which she was going to do. She really wants me to just rest, relax, sit in front of the tv if I want and just relax. It didn't take me long, but I know when she gets home I'll get a big kiss.

Of course I have a friend whose girlfriend thinks that men who do housework, clean, etc. are sissies (Not the word she used, but I try to be family friendly). My friend irons, or cleans, etc. and here come the insults. Yes, I've tried to counsel my friend, but he is so afraid of being alone he'd rather put up with the verbal abuse. Anyway, I digress. I happen to have a different thought on the matter entirely. Ginger takes very good care of the house, the cooking, me in general, and it is my way of helping out. I do it because I love her, not because I think I can do better. Marriage is a partnership and sometimes you just do things out of love. I know she'll appreciate it, like the time she came home and I had dinner ready. Sure, I was tired from working in the heat, but you know what, it didn't matter. I wanted to help. I wanted her to be able to come home and know everything was done and SHE could just rest.

We have a wonderful little life. We don't smother each other, she has her hobbies and interests and I have mine. She goes out with her girlfriends (and they talk about their men) and I'll stay home listen to some rock music and do my thing. Last time she went out she came back to candles lighting the apartment.... We value the time we have together but we can be doing things in our house seperate and yet still be connected. We both work and yet at the end of the day we can't wait to be in each other's arms. I've learned, when I get off work not to disconnect but to stay engaged as she tells me about her day. She knows, however, when I'm really wiped out, and can wait if I need time to rest. Partnership.

And she loves, absolutely loves, when I've been with the Lord. For example, my car broke down this week and I had to pay for repairs. The Lord, graciously, provided the money for us and so I didn't have to get into our extra money to fix it. I came home before going to give the money to the mechanic and just felt the Lord tugging on my heart. I pulled out the money in my wallet, knelt in my studio, and told God, "This is your money. You provided it and use it as you see fit. I confess I stress and worry, and hold on tightly, please give me peace." And you know what, He did. It is something that I have to do daily at times, giving it to God, but when I relay to Ginger what I struggle with and how the Lord meets me, she gets a light in her eye, and a tear, and beams with joy.

I'll be the first to tell you I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, I forget things, I can be scatter brained at times. I made a scheduling mistake recently and had to tell someone my blunder. It wasn't easy. When I was younger I may have avoided it, or tried to fix it without saying anything. But the harder road is the road of humility. Admitting you were wrong and asking forgiveness. Sometimes it is received, sometimes not, but that isn't the point. I'd rather admit I was wrong and accept the consequences now than be deceitful and dig a bigger hole. Chalk that up to recovery and working the steps. It is a daily process.

So as you can see, I've been learning and God has been walking with me, or even carrying me. It is a partnership. I gave God my life and I have to be able to trust Him completely that He'll take care of it. And He does time and again. Maybe not in the time I want, but He is the shepherd and I am the sheep.


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