Week 14: Azalea Season
What a week it has been. For starters i got a cold or just a really bad sinus infection. Either way it was absolutely miserable. Even more miserable was working while I felt that way. Thursday was by far the worst day, even the customer we were working for admired my dedication but knew I was really sick. Friday I was able to have a half day off and stayed in bed for the most part on Friday and Saturday. So this morning I finally felt like I was among the living again. I began joking around again, being my jovial self. I have to be careful though. Still taking it easy, taking meds, but I don't feel like I am getting stabbed behind my eyes with a fork. I began to question my dedication for work (we have been a man down) but thankfully the weekend came just in time! Ginger has done a great job of taking care of me, helping me to eat and stay hydrated. And in the lull of the rain we have been having I actually was able to get a few quick shots of the Azalea's.
And here is another:
These shots were particularly fun because you could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. Yes, one of my all time favorite sounds is thunder. And Sophie? Doesn't phase her in the least. Last night through the storms she slept peacefully on me. That is until I happen to look over and see a rainbow out the window in the waning light! Grabbed my camera, hung out the window (our screens are not back on yet from them painting) and took this shot:
My favorite part? The colors. The ominous blue and black clouds and the red of the sun going down just gave a nice contrast.
So in some fantastic news on Ginger's front, she got approved for disability! A HUGE thank you to her parents for helping her with the process while I worked. They really helped so much, from taking Ginger to appointments to advise and wisdom. So now Ginger has income coming back in. We are truly blessed to be surrounded, on both sides, by wonderful family. From encouragement, wisdom and comedy relief, we are truly blessed.
So last week I spoke on depression. I wanted to mention something, and again, I am going to be vague. The person who I shared with will know who they are, that is all that matters. I shared a part of my past this week that, at times, still is a source of pain. But something amazing happened. God used it. I mean, He really used it to help someone not feel alone. Sometimes you feel like an island and no one knows the exact pain you are going through. Your pushed in so many directions to do the "right thing" and you want to scream at everyone that "I am just trying to stay alive!" It literally can be that bad, and sometimes you want to say do you want me to do the right thing for you to feel better about yourself or do you want me here on this earth and healthy? Because right know you cannot have both. Talking about that particular experience with this person was not painful for me. It felt right. This was the moment that all that pain was for, to help someone make another day in this world. The choices we have to make in this life are not always black and white. Oh I know, some wish they were. There is a lot of gray. I know, I have heard it, don't live in the gray. As an artist I am use to the gray and bouncing from the black and white and sometimes living on that razor's edge. It is God who helps me navigate, and most times He uses people who admit they are as imperfect as me. He uses messy people. I got where I am today not because I am perfect, or because I am super human. I got her because I listened when God said do this and in my heart I knew it was God. And sometimes people could not understand why. I didn't need to know why, however. I just needed to trust. And as I look back now, I see where that trust got me. Storms are not easy, they are not fun to go through. But sometimes you just have to listen to the thunder, smile, and realize that God is talking to you. After all, His voice is bigger than the storm.
Baa
And here is another:
These shots were particularly fun because you could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. Yes, one of my all time favorite sounds is thunder. And Sophie? Doesn't phase her in the least. Last night through the storms she slept peacefully on me. That is until I happen to look over and see a rainbow out the window in the waning light! Grabbed my camera, hung out the window (our screens are not back on yet from them painting) and took this shot:
My favorite part? The colors. The ominous blue and black clouds and the red of the sun going down just gave a nice contrast.
So in some fantastic news on Ginger's front, she got approved for disability! A HUGE thank you to her parents for helping her with the process while I worked. They really helped so much, from taking Ginger to appointments to advise and wisdom. So now Ginger has income coming back in. We are truly blessed to be surrounded, on both sides, by wonderful family. From encouragement, wisdom and comedy relief, we are truly blessed.
So last week I spoke on depression. I wanted to mention something, and again, I am going to be vague. The person who I shared with will know who they are, that is all that matters. I shared a part of my past this week that, at times, still is a source of pain. But something amazing happened. God used it. I mean, He really used it to help someone not feel alone. Sometimes you feel like an island and no one knows the exact pain you are going through. Your pushed in so many directions to do the "right thing" and you want to scream at everyone that "I am just trying to stay alive!" It literally can be that bad, and sometimes you want to say do you want me to do the right thing for you to feel better about yourself or do you want me here on this earth and healthy? Because right know you cannot have both. Talking about that particular experience with this person was not painful for me. It felt right. This was the moment that all that pain was for, to help someone make another day in this world. The choices we have to make in this life are not always black and white. Oh I know, some wish they were. There is a lot of gray. I know, I have heard it, don't live in the gray. As an artist I am use to the gray and bouncing from the black and white and sometimes living on that razor's edge. It is God who helps me navigate, and most times He uses people who admit they are as imperfect as me. He uses messy people. I got where I am today not because I am perfect, or because I am super human. I got her because I listened when God said do this and in my heart I knew it was God. And sometimes people could not understand why. I didn't need to know why, however. I just needed to trust. And as I look back now, I see where that trust got me. Storms are not easy, they are not fun to go through. But sometimes you just have to listen to the thunder, smile, and realize that God is talking to you. After all, His voice is bigger than the storm.
Baa
Comments
Post a Comment