Abstinence

So last night was the blue moon.  No, it wasn't blue, for those who don't know a blue moon is the second full moon of a month.  Was I taking pictures?  You know it.  Here are a fw of my favorites:




I was able to take the top one in a RAW format which allowed me to play around with it in Photoshop Elements and learn a few things.  Slowly but surely I'm learning about Post Processing.  Still like the natural shots though.

So it seems I've been bombarded about abstinence.  You'd think from alcohol right?  No, people are asking me about abstinence from sex before marriage.  It's not a big secret that Ginger and I waited until we were married.  This was a personal choice that was heavily influenced by our faith in God and personal convictions.  We've made no apologies for our decision.  But the question I'm asked most frequently is how we did it.  I mean, I courted Ginger for a year and 3 months and we were engaged for a year after.  And when people find out that I waited 5 months before kissing Ginger (though I remember the date, March 7th, the day after my birthday!) some think we have fallen off the looney truck. 

So here is how we did it, and it has to do with our faith.  We believe that God developed our relationship like this, emotionally and spiritually first.  We spent many a night talking for hours, about, well everything.  We developed an intellectual connection, we developed good communication habits, and the closer we got, the more personal and private we could discuss.  As well, we discussed spiritual matters and what was important in our relationship concerning God.  We both had a desire for abstinence and with communication we expressed not only our desire for that but came up with a plan and boundaries to accomplish our goal.  The boundaries were common sense. 

But the fact is we talked.  I looked at Ginger as a God send, a beautiful, innocent angel that God had given me that I was to cherish.  Regardless of either of our pasts, in the present, God had sent me this person to be my beautiful bride.  We wanted the wedding night to be special. 

Here is the problem.  I have too many people who I tell the above to, Christians mind you, and they say that is nice, that's great, that's what I want to do, and then a week later they are in the sack.  I've heard excuses like, well God gives us grace, or we are in love (try lust).  I'm not talking about people who don't believe in God here, I'm talking about believers.  But I think part of the problem is with the church.  Yeah, I said that.  No one in the church wants to talk about sex.  It's a bad word.  We grow up in church hearing, it's good when your married, but right now it's bad, bad,bad.  So know one talks about it.  You have these feelings, but then who do you talk to about it?  And then, when you do get married your marred by the fact that it's bad.  And if you did go out of bounds in your life you feel like damaged goods.  And by the way, what is right and wrong when your married?  And when you are courting and you have these desires, who do you talk to about it?  Because quite frankly your going to have them, I mean can we be real for a minute?  

Ginger and I had each other.  We communicated.  We discussed those desires, we didn't push them down, or try to hide them, we acknowledged them but looked forward to waiting for the right time for us.  This is what worked for us.  Of course our parents were happy, her's especially.  I have a funny story that Ginger is going to kill me for putting in here....

About, I'd say 9 months into our relationship Ginger was having stomach problems, especially in the morning.  Her Mom comes in one morning and asks Ginger if she's sure she isn't pregnant.  I could just see the look on Ginger's face!  No, Mom, you have to do something for that to happen, and that hasn't happened.  Which is true.  There was no way, barring a divine act from God, that she could have been.  But funny, I think that her parents were relieved!

Look, I'm not here to cast a stone, to judge, to tell you how to do your relationship.  These things come up because I'm asked.  Ginger and I put a lot of time and effort into our relationship not only with each other but with God.  This journey that we are on, we are accountable for and your relationship is the same way, between you and that person and God.

Baa

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