Addendum

So for those of you that may have read my post yesterday, I took it off.  Yes, I was ranting a bit, I just had a moment.  I figured I'd put a bit of a more positive post on.  Not that the other wasn't, I had past if off of Ginger, but, well, you know when something doesn't settle in your spirit?  Well, I've gotten alot more sensitive, thanks to my wife, of being sensitive to the Spirit. 

Instead, I'd try it this way.  Maybe it has something to do with the new CD I got yesterday:





This is on my top 3 albums I've heard all time.  Distinctly Christian.  I followed Colton last year on American Idol.  I loved his style, edgy, yet completely Christian.  It touched me in ways Christian music hasn't in a while.  He was true to his self.  And I love the rocky edge it has and yet it touched my heart.  My good friend David texted me while I was listening to it and I was getting all emotional, something that rarely happens and, to me, is the sign of a great album.  When it touches you.

I mentioned another album yesterday, here it is:

This is a secular band, Halestorm, and yet another I would put in my top 3.  (Not bad, the last two of three albums I get are on my top 3!).  Halestorm, on the ballads of "In Your Room" and "Beautiful to Me" could make there case for being Christian in nature, though they are not (just go to the song, Daughters of Darkness and you realize they are not).  "In Your Room" touched me especially because of the significance it reminded me of Ginger and I's Dallas trip.  And in a moment of nostalgia yesterday afternoon, as I relived some of that, I wrote my post.

You see, I've been learning to share my feelings in ways I never had, with my wonderful wife.  It is absolutely not easy, considering I've been a loner so long.  I told David, my good friend, for 24 years I've been my own friend, how do I let someone else in?  His response:  How did you let Ginger in?  Damn David.  (Sorry for the french Mom!).  And he was right.  How did I let her in?  She waltzed into my heart and with a set of master key's only God could have given her, she unlocked all those areas of my heart that I had hidden.  I can talk with her about the difficult things, the hard things, the hidden things.  She knows things no one else does.  The areas I spray painted black, well, she knows those.

I'm having to learn how to be a friend.  I'm learning how to share with my wife.  I'm learning not to bottle up my emotions and feelings and get them out on the table.  Let's be honest, that is hard for me.  Part of it is the hurt I've been through, the rejection, the pain.   And part of it is the hurt and pain I've caused others.  I have a hard time forgiving myself, even after all these years.  I'm getting better, but as I've learned to share, the headaches seem to come with more frequency.  We did have a milestone yesterday though.  Migraine suffers will know what I'm talking about when I see an aura.  It is different for each sufferer, but mine is cloudy vision than seems to be in waves.  Last night I saw my aura.  So first thing I did was take my medicine.  I hadn't been feeling any real pain, but I knew it was coming.  Within two hours I was dead asleep on the couch.  When I woke up 4 hours later, I was a new man.  No pain, no headache, and I was feeling myself.  We had just learned how to circumvent 4 days of pain by heading the headache off at the past.



Baa


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