God speaking in the shower
As I was meditating with God this morning, in of all places the shower which I do frequently (meditate in the shower and showering!) God was reminding me of Matthew 6:33-34. Actually the whole passage is a gold mine of wisdom, but God was speaking to me about specific things. God reminded me particularly of how He has taken care of Ginger and I this month. Financial wise alone, I made what I would normally make in a typical month. It has been several months since I've done that. I could give you story after story about how God has provided, but let's just look at this month for an example. I've had a photographer friend hire me for a couple of gigs, I've had a person who has a hurt back that has had me do the physical labor he can't, I've sold a drawing commission that put a passion of artistry back in me, and of course my regular job I got a little bit here and there. Now I could tell you that I just went out there and beat the street and made it happen, but that would be a lie. It started on my knees. It started with asking God for direction. Sometimes the phone would just ring. Other times God would prompt me to call someone. Other times God just wanted me to stay where I was at and meditate. God will give you direction, I'm a firm believer, but God wants to be who I go to first. In my own power I could try to make it happen, but then would I be where God wanted me? Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in just sitting in the living room on my tush and going, okay God, make the phone ring! But do you know my primary job? It's not land work, or AC, or even drawing, it's serving my God. I gave my life to Him, it is His to guide and direct and put me where He wants me. Does that involve sacrifice? Absolutely. Ginger and I may not have BMW's that we drive, or live in a six figure house, or get to eat out every night. We don't have money we can just burn, we have to be wise with it. But we don't live paycheck to paycheck. You know what we do get? Our loving and gracious God first gave His love to us and we can commune with Him and He talks to us and guides us and helps us and teaches us! He gave us a love for each other that seems to strengthen each day. He gave us the wonderful opportunity to wake up each day and see how He makes this happen for us. As far as stuff, no we don't have a big flat screen, or 500 channels of cable, or all this stuff, but we have what we need, and we are thankful for what we do have. We are rich, beyond our wildest dreams, with this love we have for each other and God. He has given me recovery and that, if you ask those who love me, is a gift worth more than any car, house, job, or money. And I get to, each week, serve and help others seeking recovery. God has given me a gift to draw. I use to look in the Drawing magazine and wonder if I was good enough. Speak to my wife, my friends, they tell me absolutely. God gave that to me and as my Dad said, if this is what God wants you to do, you'll be successful. So I don't have to worry about commissions, because if that is what God wants, they'll come.
And I got to call my Dad this week and just talk. Ginger gets these times where she just wants to talk to her Mom. There is a comfort there, a letting down of the guard, or just being a kid and letting Mom be mommy. Well, my Dad got to be daddy this week. I'm not ashamed of that either. I just wanted to talk to daddy, not for approval (isn't that a change!), or advice, just wanted to hear his voice, and laugh, and enjoy a moment as father and son.
Although change is hard for me, God is being very merciful and gracious. He is guiding me and I'm trying to sort through all the noise and static to hear that still small voice. Which direction Lord? This week will be one of decisions I believe. Of doors closing and some (or one) opening. The fact is the only voice I want to hear is the voice of my comforting Shepherd. Yeah, I'm a sheep, no doubt about that. He spent ALOT of effort to go out and find me and bring me back into His fold. He had lots of people asking Him to find me and bring me back. This morning, in the shower, I heard His voice, "don't worry, I've got you." When the God of the universe says He has you, that is comforting indeed....