Week 7: Whisper in the Dark

 So who knew what kind of impact last weeks photo would have.  Of course I believe God did.  I heard words such as powerful and intense. Facebook reception wasn't explosive, compared to a picture of Sophie for example, but those that did comment were kind and supportive.  But when I woke up Tuesday morning I found out just how powerful an image I had created.  I had put the picture on my Flickr account, which is where my fellow creatives gather, and over night my Flickr account blew up.  My picture had been picked up by an admin of Explore and so my picture was featured for that day in the group (Think your picture picked out of a million posted a day).  Basically, that gives you exposure.  A LOT of exposure.  My views sky rocketed, the photo was favorited several times, I was invited to post the picture on some exclusive groups, I won an Monochrome Guru award (my favorite was the black and white which you can go to my Flickr page and see) but more importantly, my message of addiction and the voice within came out.

So how do you top that?  You don't.  That can be a trap.  Constantly trying to out do the next photo.  Don't get me wrong, this is one I will frame, because frankly it is hands down one of my favorites.  But I started this series as a message on addiction and recovery.  Not that each week will be a part of the series but my neurons on firing on all cylinders right now in the creative department.  So many ideas in my head.

So this one saw a metamorphosis.  Ginger is my creative director.  I give her the idea, I take the pictures, bring them up on the computer and so begins our process from start image to final image.  Even then, I will make tweaks and she will give a thumbs up or down.  It really helps me because when my neurons are overactive, I need focus.  So this one is aptly titled Whisper in the Dark.

Whisper in the Dark

Whisper in the Dark Black and White

I cannot tell you how many times in my addiction and even in recovery I have heard that whisper in the dark.  Yes, sometimes that voice can be very loud but more often than not a temptation comes with just a whisper of an idea.  Maybe you have been doing really good, the voice whispers you should reward yourself.  Maybe you haven't been doing good, the voice whispers well you might as well your a failure anyway.  It is my picture as the whisperer because the temptation wants you to believe the idea is yours.  But it is not.  It just mimics your voice.  It teases you, prods you, tries to fool you.  Like I said last week it's purpose is not subtle, it's purpose is to destroy you.

So how do you fight that voice?  Well, last week, I talked about a support group.  Along with that there are tools you can use to combat that voice.  For me one of them is the Bible.  There is a reason it is called the Sword of the Spirit. I am holding my Bible in the picture.  That Bible that I am holding in this picture is one of my most valued possessions.  I have had it since I began my recovery journey and at one time it was my only possession.  There are notes in it, torn pages, it is weathered and worn.  It has seen me through incredible lows and soaring highs.  And God has spoken through it to me on a great many things.  My journey in recovery, my travels with God are highly personal.  It is my hope as I create these photos that they help people.  If one person is helped, just one, they are worth creating and they are successful.

Listen, addiction is hard.  It is a hard road to recovery. I will not lie about that.   But addiction is not a death sentence.  Or at least it does not have to be.  I know lifers in AA and Celebrate Recovery.  I know people who go to church and that is their support group.  I know people who don't go to any group but have a strong support group in family, friends and both.  But they all have one thing in common.  They get up each morning and they make a choice not to use that day.  There is a reason they say one day at a time.  Sometimes it is one decision at a time.  And if you are an addict and that voice tells you your not and go ahead and take that drink or hit, it lies.

So to end on another note entirely.  Since my last two photo composites have been pretty heavy, thought I would give a self portrait that Ginger just loved:

Paul Self Portrait Black and White

Yes, I have been practicing a lot on myself to increase my portrait skills.  Hard to believe I will be 50 next month!  Thank you everyone for all your support and love!

Baa