Week 6: The Voice Within

So for those that read my blog last week I had mentioned doing a series of pictures on addiction.  I guess I should say photo composites because this weeks is a mixture of a couple of pictures put together for a message. 

So this week I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted to do this week.  Again, if you read last week (and I highly recommend you do if you haven't) I mentioned how music plays an influence on my artwork.  Deryck Whibley is the frontman to a band called Sum41 (A Punk Band).  He struggled with alcohol for many years and almost died from it.  It took a hospital stay and near death experience for him to realize finally it was time to stop.  In the aftermath of that the band got back together and wrote an album called 13 Voices.  I have a special place in my heart for those that have gone to the brink, come back, and write about their experience, or in this case sing it.  So one of the songs on there is called War.  I have put a link below at the end of this blog to the video should you want to watch it. I have also included the lyrics.

 I mention this song and the words because it explains the photo composite that I created this week.  

The Voice Within

For those of us that struggle, whether that be an addiction, a mental disorder, eating disorder, the list can go on, there is a voice inside.  For me it is that voice that says, one would be okay.  One drink, one hit, what is the harm?  For depression it is a voice that tells you no one cares or everyone is better off without you.  For Ginger and bipolar and hyperspirituality it is do this and you will be right with God or for Ginger having one piece of dessert because you deserve it and then you can't stop.  For those that I have talked to about that voice they understand it.  It's why I explained in my last post about a support group.  Because when that voice within is whispering in your ear, you need others who are encouraging you to drown out that voice.  It is a battle between light and dark (Notice the fading from white to black).  But here is the thing, you have to fight that voice.  In recovery we have tools to do that.  But that voice is always there, enticing, and do not be deceived, it wants to destroy you.  And so when you get into recovery there is a war.  The person on the right, that is my voice.  Other's may be different.  I am fighting my addicted self and each day that I stay clean and sober is a victory.  I have met many an addict who, after several years, felt the war was won.  That can be dangerous.  One day or 50 years of recovery, you are still in a war to never become what you had once become.  

For me I am blessed.  God, in His infinite wisdom, put Ginger and I together who's addictions mirror each other perfectly.  My drug and alcohol addiction mirrors her sugar addiction.  Our voices are the same, our compulsions are the same, our struggles, though different substances, are the same.  So when I talk about my voice, Ginger understands that voice because it talks to her as well.  It is not an audible voice it is self talk.  Yes we get tempted and the voice is part of that.  But the good news is, we are survivors and are winning the fight one day at a time.

Baa

 

 

 So what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go
I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is war

There are days that I think I'm crazy
Other days nothing seems to faze me
There's nothing more and nothing less
Just all the fears that I must confess well
I'm afraid I believe in nothing
No hopes or dreams you could've left me dead
Naive and not to mention
I'm losing count of all my blessings

With all that I've done, it's too late
I can't take back all that I have become

So all that I'm trying to say
I'm looking for a better way
Some days it just gets so hard
And I don't wanna slip away
So what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go
I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is war

Another day in the right direction
I'm okay but I'm left to question
How did I get so far behind the rest?
Why am I so inclined to forget?
All the days that you made me crazy
Nowadays you don't even faze me
It's all the same and I don't stress none

Sick and tired of all this tension

With all that I've done, it's too late
I can't take back all that I have become

 

So all that I'm trying to say
I'm looking for a better way
Some days it just gets so hard
And I don't wanna slip away
So what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go

I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is war

Get ready 'cause this is war

Get ready 'cause this is war

All that I'm trying to say
I'm looking for a better way
Some days it just gets so hard
And I don't wanna slip away
So what am I fighting for?
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go

I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is war

I'm looking for a better way
Some days it just gets so hard
And I don't wanna slip away
Get ready 'cause this is war
Everything back and more
And I'm not gonna let this go

I'm ready to settle the score
Get ready 'cause this is war

Songwriters: Deryck Whibley / Mike Green

War lyrics © Cypmp