Week 8: God's Guidance
And a happy rainy Sunday to all! It has been drizzling to light raining for most of the day today, which made it a perfect day to take a nap! But now it is time to write my weekly blog and show some of the pictures I was able to take this week and update you on the life of Paul and Ginger!
So on the way to Rebecca's yesterday I was stopped by a train. So I decided to take a picture because, well, I love to take pictures of trains!
So I was able to take a few shots at the ranch (okay a lot but I had to narrow it down!). The first two with my phone and the last with my camera.
My favorite is the cats. The one on the right wanted to run away so I had to be patient but it turned into one of my favorite shots. Even the chickens were being skittish but with a little patience and holding my tongue right I was able to get a good clear shot (I took about 20 shots to get the one shot).
It is such fun going there. You never know what your going to find, at least photography wise. It might be a landscape, animals, insects, portraits or macro. Truly it is one of my safe places. And Rebecca is one of my closest friends so each week I am able to go and tell her how God is working in my life or the struggles that are going on. And vice versa. Even when I go on summer break for a couple of months, when I come back it is as if I never left. And Rebecca adores Ginger.
So this was a rough week, work wise. Really rough. In fact on Friday at the morning meeting, in front of everyone I let my boss and everyone know that the past couple of days I dreaded coming to work. It was good, I got my feelings out. It all stems from the fact that I am given a job, told to handle things that I only have half the information on and things keep changing. I mean, I am good at taking a list and going down the list. I am also good with changes. But from the jump everything changed. And then I felt left alone on a job with tasks that were not mine to do. But Friday ended strong.
But the real changes happened Thursday night. We had our community group. But it worked out where it was just the Matt and Laura and Ginger and I. And I was able to share what was going on at work. And then I threw out there that maybe I should get back into computers. Matt teaches computer science classes at UT Tyler. Knowing I already had a degree and experience he was able to give me some guidance. We had approached this subject before, but as he said, you weren't ready yet. And I wasn't. Because I was running. I was ready now.
So for years I have talked about how I left the computer scene because being behind a desk drove me crazy. And it did. But underneath that was a huge fear. A fear that I would never be able to get into the computer field again because of my past. I had forgotten that at one time I was the walking dead and that God had changed me into what I am today. He had turned an impossible situation into something that only He could have orchestrated and now this walking miracle lived. And if there was a job out there in the computer world He wanted me in, nothing could stop Him. I mean as I sat and thought about it, from where we live to the jobs that I have had, God has carried Ginger and I through it all. Why would He stop now? (I am thinking of a conversation I had with one of my best friends this morning, see it applies to me too!). So the first step was made really obvious. To get an A+ certification. So when Matt found an older certification book, I went ahead and bought a newer book. Just a little light reading:
I've already started reading, and studying and Matt was right, like riding a bike a lot of it is coming back. Of course it helps I have stayed in tune with computers with Photoshop and various devices. And once I get the certifications there is actually someone I can talk to for the next step. So last week I did not know what God was doing, now things are getting clearer.
But I had to confess that fear. I had to get it out into the light. I had this picture of me staring at this fear, but fear looked scared. I was confused because I was scared of the fear. What I didn't realize was that God stood behind me. The Great Warrior. Fear flees in the face of God. God was telling me He had my back. (This is a photo project that I am going to do in the future).
I don't know what the future holds. But as Ginger says, I have hope. I am not trapped. I make good money, so it is not that. It is my sanity, and if one person understands perfectly it is Ginger. She went through all this. So as I have told her my fears, dread, and even hope she has understood it all. And I have to add this.
I have two people I adore that I am modelling after. Teddy helped me get into photography and look where that has got me! And Asia came from another country, went to SMU to become a lawyer here and did it. There was sacrifice and a long road but I have watched them and they have given me hope. I adore them so.
God puts lamp posts before us to guide us. And He uses people to help guide us. From Matt and Laura to Teddy and Asia to my lovely wife, my parents, Rebecca, and a few close friends I see God working. Again, where will this lead? I have no idea. I just know that God is in control and right now I am suppose to not only study His word, but this book.
Thanks for listening my family and friends! Keep us in your prayers as this journey continues!
Baa
So on the way to Rebecca's yesterday I was stopped by a train. So I decided to take a picture because, well, I love to take pictures of trains!
So I was able to take a few shots at the ranch (okay a lot but I had to narrow it down!). The first two with my phone and the last with my camera.
My favorite is the cats. The one on the right wanted to run away so I had to be patient but it turned into one of my favorite shots. Even the chickens were being skittish but with a little patience and holding my tongue right I was able to get a good clear shot (I took about 20 shots to get the one shot).
It is such fun going there. You never know what your going to find, at least photography wise. It might be a landscape, animals, insects, portraits or macro. Truly it is one of my safe places. And Rebecca is one of my closest friends so each week I am able to go and tell her how God is working in my life or the struggles that are going on. And vice versa. Even when I go on summer break for a couple of months, when I come back it is as if I never left. And Rebecca adores Ginger.
So this was a rough week, work wise. Really rough. In fact on Friday at the morning meeting, in front of everyone I let my boss and everyone know that the past couple of days I dreaded coming to work. It was good, I got my feelings out. It all stems from the fact that I am given a job, told to handle things that I only have half the information on and things keep changing. I mean, I am good at taking a list and going down the list. I am also good with changes. But from the jump everything changed. And then I felt left alone on a job with tasks that were not mine to do. But Friday ended strong.
But the real changes happened Thursday night. We had our community group. But it worked out where it was just the Matt and Laura and Ginger and I. And I was able to share what was going on at work. And then I threw out there that maybe I should get back into computers. Matt teaches computer science classes at UT Tyler. Knowing I already had a degree and experience he was able to give me some guidance. We had approached this subject before, but as he said, you weren't ready yet. And I wasn't. Because I was running. I was ready now.
So for years I have talked about how I left the computer scene because being behind a desk drove me crazy. And it did. But underneath that was a huge fear. A fear that I would never be able to get into the computer field again because of my past. I had forgotten that at one time I was the walking dead and that God had changed me into what I am today. He had turned an impossible situation into something that only He could have orchestrated and now this walking miracle lived. And if there was a job out there in the computer world He wanted me in, nothing could stop Him. I mean as I sat and thought about it, from where we live to the jobs that I have had, God has carried Ginger and I through it all. Why would He stop now? (I am thinking of a conversation I had with one of my best friends this morning, see it applies to me too!). So the first step was made really obvious. To get an A+ certification. So when Matt found an older certification book, I went ahead and bought a newer book. Just a little light reading:
I've already started reading, and studying and Matt was right, like riding a bike a lot of it is coming back. Of course it helps I have stayed in tune with computers with Photoshop and various devices. And once I get the certifications there is actually someone I can talk to for the next step. So last week I did not know what God was doing, now things are getting clearer.
But I had to confess that fear. I had to get it out into the light. I had this picture of me staring at this fear, but fear looked scared. I was confused because I was scared of the fear. What I didn't realize was that God stood behind me. The Great Warrior. Fear flees in the face of God. God was telling me He had my back. (This is a photo project that I am going to do in the future).
I don't know what the future holds. But as Ginger says, I have hope. I am not trapped. I make good money, so it is not that. It is my sanity, and if one person understands perfectly it is Ginger. She went through all this. So as I have told her my fears, dread, and even hope she has understood it all. And I have to add this.
I have two people I adore that I am modelling after. Teddy helped me get into photography and look where that has got me! And Asia came from another country, went to SMU to become a lawyer here and did it. There was sacrifice and a long road but I have watched them and they have given me hope. I adore them so.
God puts lamp posts before us to guide us. And He uses people to help guide us. From Matt and Laura to Teddy and Asia to my lovely wife, my parents, Rebecca, and a few close friends I see God working. Again, where will this lead? I have no idea. I just know that God is in control and right now I am suppose to not only study His word, but this book.
Thanks for listening my family and friends! Keep us in your prayers as this journey continues!
Baa
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