Week 31: Mr. Goofy Pants
So this is the first full week that Ginger has had without a job. It was surreal to her at first. She had made some appointments to keep busy the first couple of days, Sophie was groomed and then Tuesday she was spaded. That was a hard night, since she had to stay at the vet overnight. But as I write this blog she is asleep at my feet.
Not that since Ginger has quit her job that the bipolar has gone away. It just doesn't work like that. In most respects it is much better. But anxiety attacks are still very capable, as she had one yesterday that was triggered by something she said. It goes like this. Anxiety can go up from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye and all rational and cognitive thinking becomes extremely difficult if not impossible. The good news is she has a doctor's appointment coming up where we can begin a transition of the lowering of medication but also develop a plan to settle into the life of a housewife. Much less stress.
It has been a little different for me as well, in a good way. I came home this week for the most part to have dinner when I got home. It was wonderful. And since Ginger eats healthy that means I am eating healthier. I am getting use to this. We are working on getting papers to get our insurance going and I am amazed at how God is just taking care of every piece of this process.
For the most part my depression has been lifting. It has manifested itself mostly in a lack of interest. Just vegging in front of the TV. I had a hectic week at work this week and that caused a bit of a spike. With one man down, and increased responsibility, more is expected but I have learned, just as in my last couple jobs, one man can only do so much. I've had to deal with a set of cabinets that just did not want to work right. After my boss painted the shelves and they still did not turn out right, Friday I was able to spend the time to sand, take my time, and get them to start looking like what I wanted. I did not like the fact that they were just dumped on me. It reminded me of my past couple of bosses who when they did not want to work on something would just dump it on me. Granted, I would rise to the occasion making mistakes on the way, but I have to catch myself to not be resentful. And when I put that final coat on, I put it out of my mind. They will have to be assembled but it will take 2 other people beside me to get them together right. It will be impossible for just me to get them together, so at least I will have help. It was on Friday that I realized how much the job was taking a toll on me, though I have learned I LOVE carpentry! With all the other work I did in the week, on top of these cabinets, I worked really hard but I found I was taking it just a bit too serious and not feeling appreciated for all that we had accomplished. It was a turning point. Someone else's urgency does not make it my urgency. So yesterday when I realized it had been almost a month since I had spent some time looking at my photography magazines and material and that I may not be engaging with Ginger as much as I should because I am preoccupied with work I knew I had to make some changes. Dealing with Ginger's bipolar and work was hard but now things are beginning to even themselves out. Not a smooth road but a much less bumpy one. So the changes? Well for one, bringing goofy Paul back. Ginger calls this picture Mr. Goofy Pants.
Yes, I need to shave. But believe it or not we were laughing. Sometimes you just have to enjoy life. And then I took a picture of what is my favorite drink of late but made it into something artistic:
I am a sucker for all things Green Apple. And when I saw these at Fresh (which is pretty much where we get all out produce now) and loved them, well, I was hooked. Still making specialty sun teas, Just made Orange Spice Sun Tea this weekend.
And today I was able to play around with selecting and masking in Photoshop. I am working to get better at it, but to do that you have to practice. Not near professional level, but my latest picture shows I am learning. It is the cicada killer and flowers:
So I put it here to remind myself as I move forward with learning of where I have come from. Trust me, it is hard to blend two pictures together but it is one process I am loving to learn. And it is when I sat down at the computer and just got lost working on the photos that I realized how much of a funk I had been in. And that happens. I have had a lot of responsibilities of late while being a caretaker to Ginger and Sophie. Summer heat was brutal but it is getting a little better and in less than a month we have fall shopping. When I saw the candy corn in Walmart I got excited, our favorite time of season is coming up and with it that creative flair comes slowly flowing back into my life. I will be decorating our house soon!
And something else. For the first time I am going to submit a couple of photos into the East Texas State Fair. Just by chance I ran across info on it, so I thought why not. I mean $5 a photo to submit isn't bad, and you never know if you'll win or not!
With all of that said, compared to the weeks past, this has not been too bad of a week. Yes, it had it's moments, but it is when I learn things about myself that I realize that the trials and hardships have a purpose. Life is too short. I have learned that when Sophie crawls up into my lap and falls asleep and Ginger comes over and puts her head on my chest and closes her eyes, well, those are the moments I live for. And in moments like that I say, what cabinets?
Baa
Not that since Ginger has quit her job that the bipolar has gone away. It just doesn't work like that. In most respects it is much better. But anxiety attacks are still very capable, as she had one yesterday that was triggered by something she said. It goes like this. Anxiety can go up from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye and all rational and cognitive thinking becomes extremely difficult if not impossible. The good news is she has a doctor's appointment coming up where we can begin a transition of the lowering of medication but also develop a plan to settle into the life of a housewife. Much less stress.
It has been a little different for me as well, in a good way. I came home this week for the most part to have dinner when I got home. It was wonderful. And since Ginger eats healthy that means I am eating healthier. I am getting use to this. We are working on getting papers to get our insurance going and I am amazed at how God is just taking care of every piece of this process.
For the most part my depression has been lifting. It has manifested itself mostly in a lack of interest. Just vegging in front of the TV. I had a hectic week at work this week and that caused a bit of a spike. With one man down, and increased responsibility, more is expected but I have learned, just as in my last couple jobs, one man can only do so much. I've had to deal with a set of cabinets that just did not want to work right. After my boss painted the shelves and they still did not turn out right, Friday I was able to spend the time to sand, take my time, and get them to start looking like what I wanted. I did not like the fact that they were just dumped on me. It reminded me of my past couple of bosses who when they did not want to work on something would just dump it on me. Granted, I would rise to the occasion making mistakes on the way, but I have to catch myself to not be resentful. And when I put that final coat on, I put it out of my mind. They will have to be assembled but it will take 2 other people beside me to get them together right. It will be impossible for just me to get them together, so at least I will have help. It was on Friday that I realized how much the job was taking a toll on me, though I have learned I LOVE carpentry! With all the other work I did in the week, on top of these cabinets, I worked really hard but I found I was taking it just a bit too serious and not feeling appreciated for all that we had accomplished. It was a turning point. Someone else's urgency does not make it my urgency. So yesterday when I realized it had been almost a month since I had spent some time looking at my photography magazines and material and that I may not be engaging with Ginger as much as I should because I am preoccupied with work I knew I had to make some changes. Dealing with Ginger's bipolar and work was hard but now things are beginning to even themselves out. Not a smooth road but a much less bumpy one. So the changes? Well for one, bringing goofy Paul back. Ginger calls this picture Mr. Goofy Pants.
Yes, I need to shave. But believe it or not we were laughing. Sometimes you just have to enjoy life. And then I took a picture of what is my favorite drink of late but made it into something artistic:
I am a sucker for all things Green Apple. And when I saw these at Fresh (which is pretty much where we get all out produce now) and loved them, well, I was hooked. Still making specialty sun teas, Just made Orange Spice Sun Tea this weekend.
And today I was able to play around with selecting and masking in Photoshop. I am working to get better at it, but to do that you have to practice. Not near professional level, but my latest picture shows I am learning. It is the cicada killer and flowers:
So I put it here to remind myself as I move forward with learning of where I have come from. Trust me, it is hard to blend two pictures together but it is one process I am loving to learn. And it is when I sat down at the computer and just got lost working on the photos that I realized how much of a funk I had been in. And that happens. I have had a lot of responsibilities of late while being a caretaker to Ginger and Sophie. Summer heat was brutal but it is getting a little better and in less than a month we have fall shopping. When I saw the candy corn in Walmart I got excited, our favorite time of season is coming up and with it that creative flair comes slowly flowing back into my life. I will be decorating our house soon!
And something else. For the first time I am going to submit a couple of photos into the East Texas State Fair. Just by chance I ran across info on it, so I thought why not. I mean $5 a photo to submit isn't bad, and you never know if you'll win or not!
With all of that said, compared to the weeks past, this has not been too bad of a week. Yes, it had it's moments, but it is when I learn things about myself that I realize that the trials and hardships have a purpose. Life is too short. I have learned that when Sophie crawls up into my lap and falls asleep and Ginger comes over and puts her head on my chest and closes her eyes, well, those are the moments I live for. And in moments like that I say, what cabinets?
Baa
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