Week 26: The Paradox of Anxiety

So first of all thank you all.  The response to Ginger was overwhelming and amazing. You poured prayers, encouragement and blessings to Ginger for her anxiety last Monday.  With each Monday we get another piece of the puzzle in unlocking an anxiety free Monday.  As a reference, when Ginger was going through learning a new computer system at work several years ago her anxiety at that time was off the charts.  It is that time that I gauge all other anxiety attacks because that one was sustained and by far the worst.  But out of it, through a process, we learned one of our most valuable tools that helped Ginger (Take Meds, Eat, then Nap.  We call it resetting the brain). 

The important thing is, Ginger knows she is not alone.  Anxiety can be a lonely disease.  Ginger is fond of saying, if you could only be inside my head.  Well, I cannot get inside her head, but I do know about anxiety and depression which has helped.  And your stories and encouragement let her see she was not alone in her struggle.

The root of her anxiety, which came to bear this week, is a mixture of two problems.  One is perfectionism.  She is absolutely terrified of making a mistake which leads her into asking lots of questions to reassure her that she is making the right decision.  Sometimes I think her OCD is just an extension of this.  Which leads into the second problem which is having confidence in making the right decision, you see, Ginger does not believe in herself.  I myself have dealt with both issues.  Photography really helped me in the mistakes department, because you make a lot of them to get to a great picture.  Thank goodness for digital cameras!  Of course I still get upset when people treat me like I am stupid, or they ask me for my opinion then try to make me feel like an idiot for the idea I throw out there.  Don't ask if you already have a preconceived notion.    Some people do not realize just how much I do know, you might be surprised. 

So this weekend we are gearing up for this Monday.  We have a plan in place but there is still the anxiousness waiting up until the appointed Monday.  Again, lots of sleeping, talking, and Christmas Hallmark (Yes, Hallmark is playing two weeks of Christmas movies).    Me, I stand at the ready to help Ginger in any way I can.  But while she naps, I can slip off into the studio and practice with some flash....

Two flash setup, reflector underneath

Sophie was napping in the studio with me so I grabbed her for a quick shot.

Two flash setup

 Practicing different poses and Ginger really liked this one.

Sophie IS a lap dog!

In this one Ginger was watching Hallmark and Sophie was napping.  I have learned to keep my camera close to me for moments like this.  This is one of those shots that composition wise is spot on.  It is one of my favorites of Sophie, and at ISO 12,800 it came out pretty good.  Thank goodness for a fast 50mm prime lens.


Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and encouragement.  I will continue to keep everyone updated.  Ya'll mean the world to us! 

Baa