Reflection

So today I was walking to the park.  Celebrate Recovery was having testimonies and concert there.  I was too late for that (I had to work today) but it wasn't CR that God had in store for me today.  As I was walking, talking to God, I remembered last year about this time.  I had a different employer and during what should have been a busy time for us, it was slow.  In fact, it would be slow throughout spring, summer and fall until my new job in October.

But I digress.  I felt the humidity, which made it a little harder to breath, the heat a bit, heard the cardinals singing their love songs, and remembered the prayers I would pray.  I'd walk during the week after getting the text of no work I'll call you at ten.  No call would ever come and I'd set out to have some time with God.  Sometimes I would just fall into His arms and thank Him.  Other times I would be like this:  "God, we have no work, don't you see me down here?  I have bills to pay, a new wife, God are you listening?   Are You there?"  Of course at the end of the walk, sweat rolling down my face, I'd be thanking Him for what He'd done for me as of yet.  Typically when I'd go into this little tantrums, which is what they were, God would begin reminding me of what He'd done for me.  Who brought your wife to you?  Um...You God.  Who brought your apartment to you?  Um..You God.  Who brought your car to you?  Um..You God.  Are you hungry?  Um..No God.  Do you have food in the apartment?  Are you clothed?  Is your electricity on?  Have you been late on a payment yet?  Um...Yes, Yes, Yes, No God.  Who has helped you maintain your soberiety?  Who has delivered you from darkness into life?  Who has totally transformed your life?  Um...you God.  Sometimes God has to get your attention.  Sometimes He has to let you know who is the Creator and who is the creation.  Ask Job about that, not that I'm Job, I am, in fact, not blameless.   Then gently, lovingly, He would tell me that He had indeed not dropped me, had not abandoned me, but was in fact carrying me.  Usually I'd get back and journal (I've been able to go back and read my entries during that time), read Scripture, and then trust that God did indeed have me.

So here we are, a year later, and my little walk today.  First it was God saying, "My child, remember last year?  So how are things now?"  And I've got to say, things are pretty darn good.  My new job is going fantastic, totally God.  Ginger and I are more in love than ever.  Ginger's anxiety and bipolar are doing sooo much better.  We've added a little computer desk in the living room for the laptop, so now we have a quaint little nook to blog, facebook, email, and yet be with each other.  I've lined up a few personal drawings I want to begin on.  And even though gas prices are going up, somehow, someway, God always provides for the extra expense.  We have our weekly date nights on Saturday night, we share in the cooking and have continually tweeked that to eat healthier.  Ginger is running, in her first 5k next week.  Spiritually, Ginger is reading through the Bible in a year, and is very faithful in that, while I'm studying in the Old Testament, the major and minor prophets.

Not that we don't have our struggles, or valley's, but God is walking with us through them.  During that time we learned to trust in God with all our heart in every aspect of our lives.  As we did that, as we learned to fall into His arms, He walked with us through the storm.  Sometimes when you are in the storm, you can't see beyond the rain.  Last year was a prime example.  But as the rain lifted, as the sun came out, we began to see the path before us.  Once again the Shepherd leads his sheep to green pastures....

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