Addiction

I have a friend, well, I have more than one if you count the imaginary ones...but I digress, I have a friend who is not doing well. We both have similar backgrounds and we both got caught up in addiction. We met in a ministry, he was the extrovert I was the introvert, however we were both in recovery. We didn't hit it off well at first. I thought he was arrogant, he thought I was a people pleaser. We were both right, actually. It all came to a head one night when I heard he was talking about me. I was not happy. He invited me for coffee to talk about it and I relunctantly went. And that night our friendship was born. I learned his heart, and that he was trying to protect me by talking to my best friend to talk to me. He learned my heart and how arrogant people remind me of the person who sexually abused me. Communication. It does wonders. We use to be very close but addiction is very jealous of who she keeps company with.

Well, he is on parole. And he is a couple of months away from being off. Addiction is better at playing games than we are. Trust me, if you think you've got some good moves, if you think your quick, or smarter, or better, I promise you that addiction is
quicker, smarter, and will get the best of you. He is wicked smart. Has a degree in chemistry and is an excellent business man. Tomorrow he has a parole revocation hearing and could go back to prison for up to 3 years. Game over.

So what is my point? Anyone who has been addicted and is in recovery knows that with one choice that could be them. I'm asked how I keep sober. God. I'll say it again God. I am completely powerless and have to rely on His strength, not mine. I have given my life to God. Ginger and I pray together. We worship together. We go to Celebrate Recovery together. I volunteer in ministry to help others. I choose who I hang out with wisely. I have an accountibility team who has every right to ask me how I'm doing and hit me over the head if I'm stupid. And I communicate. I talk (and now blog). Because every time I say my story, even a apiece of it, I remember. I remember the pain and destruction. I don't believe in living in the past, but I choose for myself not to forget. I have to remember what drinking caused me. I had good times, and if I remember those only I'll drink. What can one beer possibly cost me? I'm not willing to find out. God went to great lengths to get me where I am at today. It wasn't me. He changed my heart, changed my values, changed my life. Having a good wife is more important to me than a new car. Being sober is more important to me than having a six figure job. Having God in my life is more important than anything this world could offer. Only God could have done that.

So say a prayer for my friend. Though he made some choices, he is still dear to me, I just chose not to make the same one's. My prayer has been that God will do whatever it takes to get him back to Him. It's the same prayer my Mom prayed for me...