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Friday, April 30, 2010

Angels

Do you believe in angels? Let me be more specific, do you believe that there are people in your life that God brings along that you would consider an "angel" in your life? Someone who has maybe brought you back from the brink? Saved your life?

For example. In my life, my Mom is an angel. It is my belief, no lie, that it was her passionate prayers to God that I'm living today. I walked a long 17 year wilderness in alcohol addiction. Mom saw her son who was raised very well, was well educated with a Bachelor's degree, who was on the fast track to be a top engineer, go slowly into a downward spiral of addiction as I drowned the hurt of relationships, experiences, life and humankind in general with alcohol. I got mad at God, turned my back. Believe me, my Mom tried to help me in anyway she could. But she had to let go. She put me in God's hands. She asked God not to take me but to do whatever it took to bring me back to Him. Pleaded with tears. And with those prayers she became my angel.

God did do whatever it took. But thank the Lord He did. In May I'll celebrate 8 years of sobriety. I volunteer at a ministry called Celebrate Recovery and I've moved up from being a server in the food line to being the co-ministry leader. This introvert now gets up every other week and does the announcements in front of over 100 people, gives his testimony in which he lays it all out, and all because an "angel" prayed that God would help her son, and gave God her son. And at those meetings I was able to get the help I needed, for alcohol, for codependency, for the sexual abuse I endured, for the suicide attempt in which I swallowed over a hundred pills, for the relationships that almost destroyed me. God put some "angels" in my life that helped me in that path of recovery.

And He put another special angel in my path too. As I've said, I'm an introvert. But I was asked one day to volunteer at the greeters table at Celebrate Recovery. Me? Shy me? Well, I did. And guess who was sitting next to me. An angel, who would become my lil angel. God had put my soul mate to teach me how to greet. In the process I found my best friend and soon, my soul mate. My Mom, my angel, who I believe never really approved of most of the girls I brought to meet her, absolutely loved her. My two angels. Well, Ginger, my wife, has helped me in so many ways. I have a problem with self confidence, but not with her. I'm her man, and she makes sure I know that I'm her one. From texts, phone calls, a touch, a smile, words of encouragement, I know that I am truly loved. I'm short, she loves it. I have a lil pouch for a stomach in the winter, she loves it. I have a dimple she adores. I'm a left handed artist that can be prettyoff the wall, she loves it. I don't have these big muscles, bulked out, I'm just average, and yet to her I have big muscles. There is not a guy in the world she'd rather be with than me (including actors I might add!) She was tailor made for me, I was tailor made for her. And our love grows deeper each day. And believe me, she knows she is my angel. There is not a more beautiful woman in the world to me than her. She worries about how she looks, she need not worry, to me she is the definition of beauty.

My Dad has been an "angel", a well spring of wisdom as I've walked this path of recovery. And there are others. The common bond with them all is that, in my recovery, they've taken this person that I considered damage goods, didn't judge me of my past, but helped me for a brighter future. Yes, when you live a life of addiction people tend to look at your past and say, nope, not him (or her) they are damaged, I want to find someone who is "perfect". Keep looking I say, there is only ONE who is perfect.

So the point of this post? Who are your angels (or angel)? Who are those people you are grateful for? Yes, humankind will disappoint you time and again. I could go on about that. But there are diamonds in the rough, sometimes in the strangest of places, that come into your life that help you in such a way. Maybe it's encouragement. Or inspiration. Or help (such as helping a young couple with an apartment, thank you). Maybe they stay in your life or are fleeting, for a moment to help you at a critical point. Thank them today, tell them how much they mean to you.

Paul

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Drawing


This is a drawing of my beloved and i. Yes, I did draw this! She is my soul mate, my one and only, my beloved, my lil angel. Besides Jesus, she is the reason I live and breathe...

The start of an adventure...

So here I am starting an adventure. Some of us need a little nudge now and then, I'm no different. It actually solidified itself after an email in which I was told I had a knack for writing. I love writing. Of course I love drawing too. Both are a passion of mine. I love writing letter, notes, and cards to my beloved. My belief, it comes straight from the heart. When I have a passion for something, or someone, then the words seem to flow out. Being an introvert (except around my closest friends), I find it easier to articulate my thoughts writing than talking. My wife thinks it's great I'm starting this and anyone who knows me understands that she is my number one fan...


So here we go. Enjoy the ride, I know I'm going too...